A few weeks ago I received troubling news about my health coupled with other problems. Seeing all of it as an opportunity to evaluate areas of my life requiring change and taking action for realizing those changes at once, I have also found myself still feeling sad and doubtful.
I was feeling lonely, too and missing my mother and grandmothers who have passed away years ago. One night during those days I went to bed with all these feelings and worries. It really does take time for me to sleep so I was in bed as usual, spending time in that zone between wakefulness and sleep. Watching the images rise and fall, I suddenly found myself surrounded by rice, mounds of rice. I had no idea why I was seeing so much rice and did not ask why because I was truly enjoying it. I was filled with feelings of happiness and of being loved and supported. I woke with the most positive feelings in the morning and my optimism was back in place again.
It did not take long after this dream before the good news started arriving and it turned out that my health issue was not as bad as I thought it was and I only needed take a few actions (including more swimming which is my favorite) towards better health.
With all the positive developments following the rice dream which I enjoyed greatly, I started thinking deeply about rice within the past week.
I made lists about what rice makes me think about but its significance was not obvious at first. Then I started remembering.
I think almost every Turkish person was made to swallow a few grains of rice by their mother or grandmother before a major exam at some point in their lives. I recall the first time seeing my grandmother whispering prayers and chants to rice when I was nine or ten years old. One day, I slowly approached her chair and asked "what are you saying Grandma?" She did not reply me right away. She first finished her mysterious words then turned to me with a smile and said"prayers."
Feeling even more curious I wanted to learn more. "I am praying seven times to each grain of rice" she explained, "so they are filled with love, blessings and prayers for support, protection and clarity of mind." "Where did you learn to do it Grandma?" "From my mother and she from hers."
All through my school life, I was frequently given seven rice grains to swallow on the morning of major exam, by my grandmother. Sometimes she would wrap in a tiny piece of cloth and attach it inside my clothes with a safety pin.
So the rice, with all the positive feelings I had around it, feels like a message of love and blessings from my grandmothers now. It was their way of saying "You are not alone. We are here. We love you."
Today is Mothers Day but I am not feeling sad like I used to be during previous ones. Instead, I am feeling grateful for having a loving mother and grandmothers and saying prayers of love and gratitude. I will be cooking rice today and other delicious recipes I learned from them.
